I CAN MOONWALK!
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
