I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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