So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
