Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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