dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
