If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
