Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
