So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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