all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
