I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
