Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I want to fling myself into the sun
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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