Cold hands, warm shart.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
