Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
