I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
