You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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