Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
