i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
