My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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