You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
