Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
