Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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