There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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