Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Semen is not good for contacts.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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