We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
