3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
