At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
