Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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