Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
