that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
