He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
