He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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