You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
