im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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