The best revenge is premature balding
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
