I will die if light touches me.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
