sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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