we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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