; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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