Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
