summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
