Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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