the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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