You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
