WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I party with great urgency now.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
