Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
