Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm too high and old for this...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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