quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
