But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well I just put wine in my tea
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
