kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
