I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
