maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
